Who said that America isn't the land of opportunity!?!?!

                 The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards.
                 Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spil led coffee on
                 herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual
                 award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in
                 the U.S. The following are this year's candidates:


                 1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was
                 awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her
                 ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture
                 store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised
                 at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little  brat was Ms.
                 Robertson's son.


                 2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won
                 $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his
                 hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice
                 there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying
                 to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.


                 3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania
                 was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the
                 garage. He was not able to get the garag e door to go up since
                 the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't
                 re-enter the house because the door connecting the house
                 and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on
                 vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for
                 eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a
                 large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
                 claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish.
                 he jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.


                 4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was
                 awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on
                 the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle
                 was on a chain in it's owner's fenced-in yard. The award was
                 less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been
                 just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was
                 shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.


                 5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay
                 Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after
                 she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage
                 was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend
                 30 seconds earlier during an argument.


                 6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware
                 successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring
                 city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
                 knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton
                 was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to
                 avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded
                 $12,000 and dental expenses.


                 7. And the winner is: Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City.
                 In November 2000 Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32
                 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having
                 joined the freeway, he set the cruise control 70 mph and
                 calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make
                 himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the Winnie left the
                 freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued
                 Winnebago for not showing him in the handbook that he
                 couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000
                 plus a new Winnie. (Winniebago actually changed their
                 handbooks on the back of this court case, just in case
                 there are any other complete morons buying their vehicles)